I’ve found myself struggling recently with something that I haven’t really thought about in a long time – actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever thought about in reference to myself before – curiosity. I’ve always (sort of by default, I guess) considered myself a curious person. I like knowing how things (especially biological things) work, I loved my liberal arts education because I got to take literature classes at the same time as chemistry, etc.

flickr cc by fotologic

Recently, however, I’ve noticed that my interest in most things outside of my discipline has been waning. I find myself making giant lists of great books that I should read and things I should learn how to do (play piano, train my dog, etc.) and then never getting to it. This isn’t, as I first thought, because I was too busy. I am pretty busy, but I’d be embarrassed to admit how many hours I’ve managed to find to watch the Olympics in the last two weeks. I think I have the time, but I just don’t seem to care very much. When I get home after a long day in lab/teaching, I want to grab a glass of wine and pretty much sit as still as possible on my couch for the rest of the evening.

This is worrisome to me. I’m really hoping is no more than a result of graduate school burnout, but what happens if it’s not? Can I purposefully go about re-kindling my own curiosity in things? I still very much enjoy learning about new things/ideas as long as it doesn’t take much effort on my part (for instance, if you sit me down and tell me about something new, I’m generally very happy to know about it), I just can’t seem to find the motivation to go out of my way to pursue new interests even if I think I’ll enjoy it once I do.

I have no idea if this is a common occurrence, or whether it’s a one-time change (I was a curious person, and I am now no longer a curious person) or just a phase (I was a curious person, and I will be once again…someday…when I finish my PhD). And on a bigger scale, if this is common, what can be done to keep this from happening to graduate students? Anything? Or are we just destined to have all our academic vigor sucked out of us by the time we’re in candidacy? I guess only time will tell.